1967- 1968 Viet Nam letters

My children have asked me to share letters and written communication
between their late father and myself during these years. Looking
through our letters and cards, I feel intrusive. The girl writing
them is from another time. It is as though she too is deceased.
It has taken nearly 43 years for me to approach these, mostly
because I wasn't sure how to start. Reminding myself of the
saying " A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step,
" I will take the first step now.

"Once upon a time" there were 2 young people who were madly and
passionately in love. Too cliché? Too corny? You might hink again.
He was 23 and she was only 20. He had just graduated from college
with an army commission. It was during the time when the Vietnamese
conflict was at its peak. And it was a time when there would be two
major TET offenses. They were immature, as well as used to the
personal family nurturing each received. He was the baby brother
in his family. She was the oldest in hers. They had been married
1 1/2 years, but had already suffered a miscarriage when she had
to have emergency surgery which caused the miscarriage. His orders
sent him to the Army Quartermaster School in Virginia before she
was able to travel, so in their short time, had experienced the
pain of separation. The Viet Nam orders came just as they discovered
they were expecting another baby.
Picture- September 1967- Bobby, Gayle and her Mama in Charleston,
SC just before deployment.
Before the daily letters began for the year, Gayle made a little
packet of letters for Bobby to open each day for a week until
mail could catch up or they had his APO address. It was October
1967. They are as follows:
Sunday
"Hello Little Wolpf, [not a typo- what she called him]
You know it really just him me today you were leaving. Yet all
I could do was sit and thank God that ZI wasn't watching you leave
for the DMZ, or the bushes and trees and for the anticipation
of a baby, as well as for the wonderful 1 1/2 years together.
We have no regrets, or at least should have none. However, I
haven't always been your Mouse like I would want to have been,
or like Wolph deserves, but I will be when you come home. We'll
be so happy then little fella. I know we will. Don't you? I mean
even happier than we have ever been. We have so very much to
look forward to. Heaven knows you've got enough people praying
for you. And for heaven's sake you can't ask for more than
that can you? I just dread tomorrow more than anything. I think
giving you up for a year must be the hardest thing I've ever done,
or will have to do. [Besides trying to sleep at night, which has
become impossible- laughing]
Please be sure to send me any lists of things you need. Lord,
I hope you have enough money. I guess our affairs will straighten
out in a little bit. I'll keep you posted on everything. You
know each letter I will write you each day will be an epic.
These letters are like one really big one. I just want you to
have one for the next few days, so you won't be so lonely.
But I know you'll have a lot of good friends there. Just remember
they left homes and families too, so it's just as hard, perhaps
even harder for some of those you'll meet. I took that tranquilizer
and I'm sitting here going to sleep.
Angel, 'til tomorrow- always, all my love, G."
Monday
"Dear Angel, Here I am again. You know, I think if ever things are
so bad (with anything) if you just remember all the good important
things in your life, the things that mean the most, then it will
keep you going. It's the hope of more good things through our God
which makes life worthwhile. You know no matter what I'm here
waiting for you. You'll have a home [of sorts] as long as you
have me here, which is always. I can only repeat I'm faithful
to you in life as I will be in the death of either of us. There
could never be anyone else. I could never love any one as I love
you darling. You're the one thing giving meaning to my life.
Just be extra special careful. I couldn't live without you.
And we are BOTH needed to raise our child. I'm just one person,
but I have the biggest swollen heart in the world with enough
love in it to love you in any way it is needed. Don't forget to
tell me goodnight each night. I'll kiss you each night and with
every thought I have will be of my angel. Words just seem so
trite don't they? But we have to communicate. Of course, anytime
you want to know how much ZI love you just close your eyes and
you can see in my eyes, the love I have for you and share with
you. These letters seem so serious, but I will send funny things
after awhile- It's not like me to be serious all the time is it?
(Cause I'm the 'Mouse') Till tomorrow- All my love, g."
Tuesday
Hello, Dear Bob, I imagine by the time you get this I will have
done a lot of work needing to be done around the house. Not for
me, but for preparation of our very special reason for living.
Of course, life for two people like us needs no special reasons.
Our love is strong enough to withstand the ups and downs and
hard-knocks. I'm certain it would survive through hell itself.
Darling take advantage of everything over there. Notice everything,
however seemingly insignificant it seems. You will see how only
God could have created this world. Remember too, only God can
destroy it completely. You know there will be times if for only
a moment, we could hug the other, or kiss the other, or just simply
see the other, everything would be fine. Just try to do what
I said, close your eyes and think of small things I might do,
or things we have done and it's almost real if you let your
imagination go. That's one thing just as bad, as it is good in
situations like this.
(By the way, I'll try not to have a boy pianist, or a girl to
play for the Green Bay Packers.) I don't know what made me say
that. I'm crazy .Anyway, I do love you. You're bound to get a
letter from me tomorrow- postmarked. Know this- each day I'll
love you more than the day before. Till tomorrow-
All my love, g."
Wednesday- Missing from the saved box of letters.
Thursday-
"Dear Wolph, I guess you think I'm silly with all of these letters.
But maybe these letters will be like I was talking with you each
day if you read one a day in order. I can write you one for each
day for the first week, 'cause I kinda know how I'll feel then.
And I feel sure you'll get your first letters from me within a
week. I had a real good talk with God. I asked him if it was
not His will for you to go to Viet Nam to not let you go, but
if you went then I would know there would be a reason. Now,
you are going or perhaps are already there. I asked Him to
guide you and sleep beside you since I can't, and send you
home safely to me, while keeping me safe for you, and our baby
safe for us so someday we might worship God and Chris as a
family- all together. It's all I can ask of Him. I'm failed
to thank Him for every blessing we've had. I'm sure for every
bad thing we've had happen to us, we can find at least 10
things to be thankful for, don't you?
While you're gone I only have to close my eyes and I'll be able
to see you here beside me, loving me, playing, sharing both the
good and the bad things, while we plan our future together.
Then, I won't be so lonely. Remember I'm there too. There won't
be a waking moment in the coming year for me when I won't be
thinking of you. I'll be there even if I should die. I'm sworn
to any eternity with you. It is our life together, or death
together. God has chosen this child for me to carry for some
reason. Which is probably to be born to symbolize our love for
each other. Of course, nothing can erase the fact I will need you
in all I do. I will ache and hurt inside to my core, just wanting
to have even a glimpse of you. But no matter what, we still have
each other wherever the other might be. I love you so Angel, Mr.
Wolpf. Be extra careful- All my love, gayle"
Friday
"Hi Angel, YOu know I was just sitting here thinking how I have
no idea the full extent of a year without you. We'll manage, but
honey, it will be so hard 'cause I love you so very, very much.
Bob, well, don't let anything happen to you. There are just too
many thing we have yet to do. And so many more things I want to
do for you. You know the more I think of it, the more I'm against
you staying in as a career. Selfishly, I just want to get up in
the mornings, fix your breakfast, hand you your briefcase as I
kiss you goodbye for the day. And when you come home in the
evenings, I'll fix you a drink, have your dinner ready, etc.
We'll go to school functions , PTA meetings, I'll finish school,
you'll golf, I'll join a garden club and we'll go on two week
vacations with the kids, you'll get raises and bonuses. We'll be
happy and normal! Oh, I don't know. You'll have to decide. I
suppose I can see both ways, because if you retired at 42 we'll
be young and can do things. In fact if we found a house and
property in the next 2-3 years we'd have it paid for by the time
you retired from the rent on it. We'll just have to trust God
for guidance. We've been pretty lucky so far, really we have.
When you need me, just say Gayle and you'll know I'm there -
remember that Mr. Wolpf! Oh, you dear little man of mine, you
couldn't ever really know how very much I love you. Words can't
tell you how I love you.Even those have been said before, but
I'm yours and you're mine for an eternity. You're my whole life.
Darling, please forgive me for anything I might have ever said,
or done to have ever hurt you in any way. When you come home it
will be like starting over. I will be the best ever wife- God
knows this is like a second chance. Heaven knows I'll try so
very very hard. I will my love this time, I know we both will.
All my love, Gayle."
Saturday
"Hi Baby, I imagine by the time you are reading this letter - if
you rad one each day, I will have had my cry over and will be
settled down to thinking about when little bit comes, and when
Wolpf comes home to mouse! (You just caught me writing these
letters for your take along packet) I cried, 'cause you said
I was sweet. You meant it. And Angel, I'm not sweet. Oh,
sometimes but I've been ugly to you sometimes when I didn't
mean to be. I'll never be mean to you again, at least not on
purpose, at least. Is that saying the same thing? I'm so
confused and scared right now. I wish so many things my Bobby.
I know one thing is certain. We'll much more mature and adult
this time next year won't we? We'll be a family if all goes well.
Of course if all goes well you may get home in April. I'll do
some paintings and try to sell them and some other things to get
some money.
This is going to be a short note because I'm going to go to bed
now and hug you while I actually can. I love you my darling-
All my love, gayle"

So, There she was- pregnant, alone with Snuffy, the
rescued
dog from the Virginia snow- counting months. It was too
soon to
count weeks, days, hours or minutes. Those were only
dreams then.
There was so much more to come.

Today's thought: You don't quit falling in
love
because you grow old. You grow old when you quit falling in
love.
Today's hint: Hold on to coupons for about
3weeks.
They are usually put on sale in a few weeks so you can get
the most savings.